Hello, My Name is Susan

I am very afraid…

Posted on: February 22, 2010

One of my sisters watched a show on MTV (they’ve dropped the “music television part of the logo but they should really just change to “teen drama tv”) called “16 & pregnant” about some high school girls who find out they’re pregnant.  I’ve only watched 3 episodes & 2 were from last season but those kids are nuts!  I have a feeling I was similar although I never would have spoken to my parents the way that these kids do.  Only one couple (yep, the boy stuck around) gave up the baby for adoption.  Only one.  The other two girls go out & party @ night expecting their parents to take care of the baby.  This scares me.  This could have been me.  It really could.  Except for the part where I treat my parents like crap.  I couldn’t have done that.

The teen pregnancy rate is pretty high down here especially @ one of the hs’s that my kids could go to.  Luckily we have a choice since our school district doesn’t have a hs – we’re only k – 8th grade here in our three schools.  I think what really scares me is that things I swore up & down my kids wouldn’t go through (constant runny nose, binkies past the age of 2 & other little things) my kids did.  Heck, we didn’t get rid of binks until both of my kids were over 3!  Hubby would freak out if this happened but then again I probably would too.  I hope that I would be able to talk them into giving the baby up for adoption but….

We do talk to the kids about this stuff according to their ages.  For instance the Prince hears that kissing isn’t even something he should be doing until he’s oh, 25 (I’m joking on the age thing there- I would like grandkids once they’re grown & able to support themselves & a family!) but not until then.  Yes, we joke but we’ve also told the kids that they won’t date until they’re 16 & then it will be group dates.  Yes, we know that you can get into “trouble” even in a group but hopefully they will try to stick to the values that we try to teach them.  Have I mentioned that the kids don’t watch most of prime time tv programing & that ABC Family is banned most evenings?  Yes, sex, drugs & rock ‘n roll are out there but we’re trying to teach our kids that there are some things to completely avoid, others need to be put off until they are older & ready for the responsibility (we’ve had casual conversations about how sex is a responsibility & that even one time can get you pregnant, or a girl friend!!!) while some are okay for now but that not everything is as good as it is hyped up to be.

I don’t mean to lecture but wow!  MTV is quite the education these days & not necessarily in a good way although I do think that most of the show’s moral is that it is hard to be a teen parent & raise a kid.  This latest episode was w/ Janelle & Andrew (a loser who is so messed up it isn’t even funny).  Janelle ends up dumping the boyfriend but then she just goes off the deep end into party girl central.  Even some of her friends are concerned.  Towards the end I thought she’d decided to give the baby up but she didn’t.  The really funny thing is that her mom would have totally supported her in giving the baby up; a lot of the teen’s parents didn’t want the girls to give the babies up.

Yeah, I know that this is a rambling editorial but I had to get this out.  Things that scare me can overwhelm me (I have some pretty bad panic attacks sometimes) so I have to let them go.  Here’s to me letting go & all of our children listening to us & understanding that we love them & want the best for them.  That includes them being children until they’ve had the chance to actually grow up.  That includes them becoming productive members in our society.  That includes them not doing drugs (yes, I’ve tried some but am really grateful that I am so deathly allergic to drugs – I can never become an addict as I’d die first), waiting until marriage for sex (old-fashioned but very doable) & enjoying rock ‘n roll!

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6 Responses to "I am very afraid…"

I watch this show, because I work with kids just like this. We have a couple of pregnant girls in our program, and they are SOOOO ridiculous. They think that once their baby comes, it will be so perfect and they won’t have any problems. Sigh.

Oh, that reminds me, we’re having the STD guy come tonight, for one of our groups! Always a fun time. He has some great pictures.

I loooove those STD pix! They are just nasty & gross. *shudder* I used to love showing some of my friends the photos from my emt books just cause they were that gross. lol, good times.

My sister told me that some of her middle school students were exactly the same way. Sad.

This is a frightening thing to contemplate with young people today and it was when you were young. I worried about it because I’m not sure if I would have encouraged you to give up the baby because of my feelings but at the same time I wouldn’t have stayed home to tend your baby and let you go play either. Just not a good learning tool. Call me selfish but that is how I felt.

Love ya,
Mom

Not selfish but realistic. There are too many young couple who would love a baby as evidenced by our little Cooper. Grandparents shouldn’t have to raise their grandbabies especially from a teen parent. You didn’ bring me up that way but that’s how I feel.

I have seen this show also and can’t believe it. I was a senior in high school when I got pregnant with my oldest son. However, I would have NEVER disrespected my parents the way these girls do.

The minute I found out I was pregnant ( I remember I took a deep breath and said, well this is my life) and grew up real fast. The best thing I ever did, and the hardest. I wouldn’t advocate that on young girls on television for sure.

I was determined to NOT be a burden on my parents and when my son was 3 months old, I moved out, got my own apartment, worked 10 hours a day and got a college degree. My sons didn’t know anything else. They never saw their mom party or date or do anything but put them first. Of course, I was a different generation, so I think girls feel entitled to still have their own life even when they have babies now.

have I rambled enough? I think so..haha

Daniela, you & I are from the same generation & whew!, I can’t imagine any of my school friends talking to their parents that way either.

I have a cousin who got pregnant in hs too & she did exactly what you did. She worked hard, got a degree & has successfully supported her 4 kids since then. That’s what you did if you kept the baby. And I have to say – Good for you! And ramble away!!!

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